Thursday, 6 February 2014

Absolute Write Blog Chain - When the Q's Away the Drow Will Play.

(There will be some foul language. He does that a lot.)


Holy shit. HOLY SHIT! I have free reign over this place? FUCK YEAH! Ok, ok, let me just get myself grounded and focused for a second. Besides, you're probly fuckin confused about what's goin on right? Yeah, thought so.

I'm Drow Konran, one of Q's older characters and, the way she tells it, the first to 'talk' or 'wake up' or whateverthefuck she calls it. I'm here cuz Q did that whole Absolute Write thing again. This time, the character gets to write about the author.

Not sure why she gave me the keys to the kingdom. I ain't even in any of her books. Probly the whole first to talk deal.

So, I'm sposed to talk, er, write about Q. Ha!!!!! She'll probly start to regret this. Considering all the shit she puts us through, I could go on and on about shitloads of embarrassing shit. Kinda tempted to test the boundries of this whole freedom thing.......

But I guess I'm getting off topic. So, let's see....

How am I sposed to do this anyway? Is it sposed to be like a book or do I describe her or what?

It was a dark and stormy night and an isolated geek called Q was staring into the screen of her laptop or e-reader or the tv or FUCK THIS IS HARD! I never said I was a writer!!!! Specially not with such a fuckin' dull subject. My problem is that I love to talk about myself, and Q doesn't do much. So that's why I keep getting bored.

She's way too much of a loner for my liking, the girl barely does ANYTHING but whatever. Not me missin out on stuff.

You know what? Fuck this. The lust for power has worn off. I need a fuckin' cigarette and LOVELACE is on my Netflix queue.

OK FINE! I'll at least see if I can find a replacement. Hang on a sec.

I'm back. With a cigarette.

And nope. No takers. Ain't that pathetic?

C'mon, c'mon I can do this. Just 100 words about Q....

...50...50 words....

or letters. Yeah, Tweet about Q.

Actually now that I think about it. I think I know why I'm the one doing this. Outta everyone in her little red headed skull, I'm one of the ones who gets this whole fourth wall thing better than most. Which is kinda fucked up when you think about it. Not like I'm on the Q-Niverse-Defense-Force. Not really.

The Q-Niverse-Defense-Force by the way is what keeps Q sane and all that good shit. The ...what's that word...the thing you do that makes you feel better, when you work out your shit...? CATHARSIS! Thank you Dictonary! Yeah, well, anyway, some of us are a bit about the whole thing. I ain't.

C'mon brain, think of one nice thing about Q.


She has good taste in entertainment. Video games and comics and movies and shit. We're both reading all the Game of Thrones books. We both want Dani on the Iron Throne.

She gives me things. Thanks to her imagination, my apartment has shitloads of cool shit. You should see my entertainment system! So she keeps most of us comfortable. Sure it shuts me up and keeps me from complaining,but whatever. I have swords. She gives me swords. Because she's a responsible parent.

Damnit, dunno what to say anymore. I'm not exactly Shakespeare, but I guess you figured that out on your own, right?

Bottom line is she's not all bad and I'm fully aware that I wouldn't exist without her.

I wonder if other characters had as much trouble with this as I did. I think I'll go find out. No one said I wasn't allowed to reply to this chain.

orion_mk3 - (link to post)
Sneaky Devil - (link to post)
Anarchic Q - (link to post)
ishtar'sgate - (link to post)
Sixpence - (link to post)
pyrosama - (link to post)
Angyl78 - (link to post)
meowzbark - (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - (link to post)
SamanthaLehane - (link to post)


Kerri said...

Drow, Arryn here from over at "the life a fantasy writer. (*snorts* Fantasy writer my ass! More like butcherer of good stories). Trust me on this, you're not the only one that had trouble with this shit. This douche had the nerve to sign us up to be second to post this month. Seriously, WTF?! Couldn't give me time with it, no. That woulda been too nice. Oh well, if they don't like what we have to say, maybe next time they'll think about it before signing us up for some bullshit like this.

Q said...

Yeah, I recognize you. Second? Pretty rough. Cept for the fact Q came up with this topic so it was like extra pressure on me to perform. I hate feeling like that. I take pride in my awesomeness, thankyouverymuch and this was like all eyes on me and just damn this sucked. But I got to meet you, so that's kinda cool.

Orla said...

Heya Drow, this is Cuss. I saw your message at Sixpence's blog. I told her there was messages, but she was playin' games all dang day and night and didn't pay me no mind. I might maybe have approved your message my own self, on account of how you was respondin' to me anyways and not her.
I read what you wrote here and I like how you think. I guess I should go look into them Deadpool comics you mentioned in your message too. I don't have no swords, but my friend Bee has two throwin' knives she calls her stingers. I get to play with them some, when no-one's lookin'...don't tell on me, okay?
It was a pain in the sitter to write them words for her, but I'm glad if it means I get to meet folks like you because of it.

Kerri said...

I hear ya. It's not so bad meeting new people. You and that kid Cuss seem pretty cool. I just hope we all get a chance to hang out, maybe teach the kid some cool shit, before these "writers" find out. I'm not so sure mine would be ok with me giving away some of my secrets. Not that I give much of a shit what she thinks these days, but I suppose I should act like I do once in a while.

Q said...

Eh it's ok. It's the internet. Comments ain't goin nowhere. Besides unlike my creator I don't spend every second connected to the computer. Like I said I have a life.

Samantha Lehane said...

Ah, the first character to begin talking. The 'living' characters are the best.

I don't remember the first character that walked off the page for me but I do have one that has been persistent that I need to write a novel with him- The Duke. I still haven't written him explicitly into a story, he's been alluded to. He is a exiled vampiric Duke who has been languishing in Tucson, Arizona for centuries. He refuses to get used to the dry heat and can't wait to return from exile.

Drow might not be Shakespeare but he seems like a interesting dude nevertheless.

Diane Carlisle said...

Drow, good to meet you. Can I bum a smoke, dude?


j elyzabeth said...

Awe man! Nice to meet you Drow, I am Io. She finally let me back out of the micro-chips. I keep telling her I will not get in trouble and I will listen to my keeper. Well, what he doesn't know won't get me punished and what SHE doesn't write won't get me edited. It sounds like you are having an interesting time. :)

Q said...

Yeah, here. Need a light? *Pulls out a zippo with the Fire and Blood Targaryan crest on it*

Q said...

An interesting time is right. Between trying not to die of boredom and dodging advances from the cock-sucking elf in Q's head I'm a hair trigger.

Carol said...

I can only hope that my characters have this much trouble writing about me! That way they'll forget all the problems I've caused them. :-D

Tara Quan said...

Hi all, this is Nulli. Here I was trying to keep myself PG. I should have met Arryn and Drow before I started writing the darned letter. Oh well--you guys are an inspiration. Just wanted to let you know ;)

orion_mk3 said...

Our first character to "awaken" (love the Tolkienesque implication of that, by the by) is rarely our finest creation. I don't know what Jim, the young mad scientist son of a beat cop, would say to me after I ended his adventures after a single five-page story in the fourth grade. He only got to use his time warping gun three times, after all!

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