Thursday, 15 November 2012

Movie Review - Silent Hill: Revelation

WARNING: Spoilers for pretty much everything to do with Silent Hill ever. Movies and games. You've been warned.

I don't have to get into my history with the Silent Hill franchise, you all know I'm a huge fan. That said, I actually don't have a lot of detailed complaining so this will just be notes.

Within the first minute the first word that popped into my head was "Cheesy". I don't know if this is because it's in 3D or if the effects were just of poorer quality. Or if it was the acting. I don't know, but ...so cheesy!
Cheesy is not the word you're supposed to associate with Silent Hill.

I was laughing when I really shouldn't have been laughing. Like when Heather was going through her dad's book with the drawings.

Everything looked cheap. Cheap, uninspired sets, nothing looked organic or tactile. It was all plasticy and fake looking. Nothing looked stinking or burning or fleshy. It was all just...fluff.

The acting was poor. No one could pick an accent so it forced a lot of the dialog to come across as unnatural. Especially "Heather" and "Vincent". Douglas just couldn't act, period. Also he was pointless.....
Aaaactually now that I say that it's interesting they had the detective work in the first movie, and the actual useless detective in the second. Just a note.

Didn't believe Vincent and Heather's friendship for a second. Not one second. Also, Heather was not challanged nearly as tough as Rose was.

The monsters were dumb looking. Even those that had semi-interesting designs, the awesomeness was killed by crappy CGI that looked like it belonged back in the original Silent Hill game. You know exactly what monster I'm talking about.

What the hell was that boss battle at the end?! Again, you know what I'm talking about.

Cenobites? In my Silent Hill? It's more likely than you think! And yes, I knew where that Cenobite was going to come from before it was revealed.

I will say however, for what it was...I kinda liked how Leonard looked. I mean, Leonard is a funky unspecific design anyway. And at least they tried. And At least the cenobite had Missionary blades...

Even the nurses phoned it in. They were shaking from standing still, and they lost their creepyness and you were all too aware that they're people in make up!

TOO MUCH FREAKING PYRAMID HEAD.

Speaking of, everything was predictable. Which might have been triggered by Heather's little "First I was Sharon, then Cathy then blahdeeblah" I don't know, I just saw things coming together miles away.

There were inconsistencies between the movies. Brookhaven was a hospital in the first movie, not an asylum.

They reused footage from the first movie! PADDING!

Dark Alessa was lame.

The music was lame and not as well adapted or incorporated as in the first film.

I was happy to see Dahlia...

Also, it was JUMPSCARE: THE MOVIE. I never realized how well the first movie built up it's pay offs. And their scares were much more atmospheric.

Also, there were three endings. Setting up at least TWO more movies. I guess this could be either A) Sequel bait. B) A tribute to 'alternate endings' or C) nods to the franchise.

The ending is thus: Christopher(Sean Bean) decides to stay in Silent Hill and look for his (dead) wife...Like James in Silent Hill 2. Then Vincent and Heather flag down a trucker and get a lift. His name is Travis O'Grady. Then a high speed police chase and a prison bus drive into Silent Hill. The End.

All in all this movie made me appreciate the first one, which I've always liked, that much more.

But I am such a fangirl that even the mention of Valtiel makes me go eeee!, so there's that.

ETA
MAJOR SPOILERS/PLOT CHANGES PAST THIS POINT BUT SOMETHING JUST OCCURRED TO ME.

Wait. If they didn't like Sharon for not having a father...why is Vincent accepted? Is it because his grandfather was the head of the order and now his mom is? Or are they going back to "Oh we burned her because God." not "She's evil because she has no father."

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